There are many moves with unlimited manoeuvres in chess. Before the opening gambit, it was known to us – Paula and me. Despite this, as new entrants we couldn’t calculate all the moves in advance. Some unexpected turns took place when we were deeply involved in the game.
Heading into Harvard Square, a hub for chess pros besides many other attractions of old and new tones ‘n’ turns, we’d already decided our choices. Like two crazy fellows, we laid out the chessboard. Watching her putting pieces on the board, I was impressed by her dedication. Intensity, swiftness and orderliness shown by fingers moving on the board were matching the beauty and focus of her eyes. This was like something helping me making a knot. Her fingers were touching my neck and eyes were fixed on the tie. My neck was feeling a new touch. Fingers were setting a new tone for my vocal cords. New flowers were to bloom and spring up between the crevices of broken stones. My eyes had pulled my entire existence into their sockets and got fixed on her quivering lips ready to compose some whispers.
She’d chosen black and I was left with white pieces. Between the two, there were many colours that could be seen only by individuals trained to feel and visualise the spectrums of human love and suffering. Sometimes Paula could see them and sometimes they were visible to me. Sometimes we overlooked many colours, sometimes we ignored them and sometimes we missed some colours. Despite our different choices we’re flowing like the Charles through Boston with all its meanderings and turns. Actually, we’d started playing this game while pursuing our doctoral degrees. Our topics were different but there were some common threads to be spun together.
I’d put a regimental tie but its knot wasn’t giving me a smart look. In a casual manner, a faculty told me to do things properly. The next day, I’d changed nothing and he didn’t repeat the same. Paula took notice of it and suggested me to do as the faculty had wished. She purchased two pieces for me from the Italian patchwork mosaic collection. Understanding my inability to do it on my own, she gave a finishing touch with her fingers.
I’m not sure that the first day she’d any particular feeling in touching my neck but after that she did it many times. I recall the soothing effect of the touch on me. I couldn’t share anything about my stay with my uncle during my school days with her. I was doing all things properly except tying the knot. I’d already felt the reservations that my aunt had with my stay. She was desperately in search of a clue to scold me but she’d nothing against me. To clarify, I could tie a knot properly, but I wasn’t willing to do so. This was a point to unleash her anger. She rebuked me and I accepted my fault. After my parents, no one else was to take my care except my uncle and aunt. It was just a move.
Even after my school days, committing some deliberate mistake to please other became the part of my habits. However, between Paula and me, there was no such thing. I’d never thought to reciprocate anything for her help. There was nothing to match her finger movements – either on the board or on my neck.
On the chessboard now, the two colours looked like two groups of nations during the Cold War era. Pawns were ready to move, missiles were ready to be fired. Kings, queens and other pieces were ready for action behind the pawns. Thirty-two pieces were ready to decide the fate of the game. Everyone was waiting for the first move.
Boston weather was about to turn. The colours of trees and flowers were changing. The Berlin wall had already fallen and now it was the time for dissolution of many groupings. With the end of the Cold War, new initiatives were to be taken. The temperature had come down but Boston was looking pleasant. The sunlight falling from the clear blue sky on the Charles had metamorphosed its sparkle into a calm glaze. With the beginning of winter, I received a green signal from Paula for moving ahead.
Some pawns had moved. Pieces were moving from both sides. Our Ph.D. topics were related to consequences of wars. With the movements of knights and bishops on the chessboard, we were ready to calculate the various consequences of many wars. She was working on her topic ‘Wars and Eco-Terrorism’ and I was doing on ‘Wars and Refugee Crisis’.
To finish the war soon, some countries jumped into it. We’d do other things as well. Our Knights jumped and made the shortest move. Paula came to my rented house. Messy conditions inside perturbed her for some time but she arranged all the things soon enough. On the chessboard, the Queen can move in any direction as she likes – as a Rook or as a Bishop. Usually, Paula’s steps were in an angular direction but here she was in a straight direction. She knew home decoration. She’d seen and done it in her family. I’d also seen and done it with my aunt but all the arrangements at my aunt’s house were to narrate a tale of my slavery in disguise. Despite this, I’m grateful to those who’d brought up an orphan like me. Uncle’s children treated me sometimes as their cousin but other times as an unwanted fellow. After my school days, I left their house and managed to find my own means. On the board, some pawns were captured. Some nations were liberated. Some orphans had found shelters and some had found patronage.
We were trying to save our pieces on the board but it wasn’t an appropriate time for kings. Paula thought that I was trying to save my king but she was wrong. She couldn’t catch my intention. I was looking at my queen. After arranging my home, she stayed at my house all night. From the balcony we watched the stars in the sky. We saw a dream under the open sky, for a place where Paula and I could sing a new song.
With the fall of temperature outside, we came inside. We needed some time. There was a pause in the game. Our minds were doing calculations but bodies came into action. We came closer. She whispered a note. It’d carried a sweet invitation. We took many turns on my cozy bed.
I’d purchased a fragrance for Paula. It was made of a single element, Cetalox. It was without any allergens. Living with her, I understood her taste. I’d already heard and read that some beauties of ancient and medieval world used musk. And this one scent was similar to deer musk. She accepted it with a smile.
After a sweet spell, the game began again. Some more pawns were captured. We’d already completed many chapters of our research. Frozen moments were ready to go. Sometimes a war happens for grabbing other’s land, other’s women. Sometimes, it occurs in the name of faiths. Causes of wars are known to many persons. Depletion of natural resources, human resources and economic resources isn’t hidden to anyone. What millions of men create in many decades, a war destroys in a day. Knights have already fallen but we were in search of a conclusion. Thus, the game continued.
The Queen had already moved through many squares. We’d already known that the kings were weak pieces dependent on other pieces. But the game was to save the king alone. Boston was feeling a change in spring. Tulip and cherry blossom gave a new view to the town.
It was Mother’s Day. On the second Sunday of May, I was already free. I was recalling my mother whose only opaque memory is stored, as a precious treasure, in my mind. “O mother, why don’t you come down from the Heaven?” I’d stopped my move for some time. Pieces stood still on the board. But someone, perhaps a priest, told me, “Your mother is in Heaven.” It gave me a hope. I moved a step forward and the game began again.
Looking at the sky, I felt someone’s footsteps moving towards my room. Amazing! Paula came with an invitation from her mother. A surprise! I was missing my mother but an invitation came from another mother. “O Paula, whenever, I’m in crisis you come here and you help me.” Paula took it otherwise. I realised my mistake. It wasn’t a help. It was to celebrate an occasion. She saw my downcast eyes. Her annoyance couldn’t stay there. She hugged me and kissed me.
There were some pieces left on the board. There were meaningful moves from both sides. Paula prohibited me from buying anything for her mother. I was also not in favour of much commercialisation of such events. But some small gestures are needed to show our affection, respect and love. Whatever the spiritual chord we may strike, in this world we need some materials for going ahead. I’d a diamond ring of my mother. It was a right occasion to give it to a mother. Besides this, I’ve bought a bouquet, a card and some chocolate bars. This time, I didn’t care Paula’s command. Let her be annoyed. It’ll be a beautiful annoyance. I’ll lick all the fossils of her anger next day.
I presented my gift to her mother, Amelia. She was a busy lady dealing in fashion items. However, she’d decided to spend a day with us. Paula introduced me, “Mom, meet my friend, Van.” After handshake, she responded with a smile, “Friend or more than a friend?” For a moment we felt embarrassed. But Amelia’s intention wasn’t to do so. It was for beginning the thing with a pleasant note. It may be for sending a positive signal to me that she knows everything very well. One of my pawns was captured.
Amelia caught my hands, as a mother does with a little kid and brought me into her private garden surrounded by walls. I saw different types of flowers. I’d brought a bouquet and she’d shown me a garden. I felt, “A mother gives much and takes little.”
I’d requested her, “Today you’re going to spend all the day with us in this garden. Don’t prepare anything – lunch or dinner.” She accepted my demand but a mother’s heart has many schemes to feed her children. She continued to serve some items after some intervals. Till the evening, I could eat and drink many items – cannoli, cream pie, frappe and lobster rolls.
After some days, I was roaming with Paula near a park. I told her, “Paula, we’re going to conclude our research work. We’ll write our conclusions like any other thesis. There’s no end of wars. No solution for humanity! Even after the submission, we’ll have to search a solution. Even after fighting thousands of wars, we’re calling ourselves civilised. What a civilisation!” She put her pink palm on my lips. The eyes of a sensible woman easily understand the sparks of a man’s mind. We moved ahead.
Under an elm tree, she pointed her fingers towards the green leaves and said, “Van, you’ve told me many things but today I’d like to say an important thing to you. Look at these leaves. They are double serrated. If you love someone truly, sometimes you’ll have to move on a double-serrated path. Gain and loss don’t matter. It’s not a game for winning a war. It’s a sport for winning a heart. If you’re going for a war, you should be ready to tread through a double-serrated path. Here, a gain is for someone’s loss. A war isn’t a game for anyone’s pleasure. It’s for revenge. It’s for grabbing resources.
“Look at its wood. It’s very difficult to split it. It’s like our love.” I wished a luxuriant kiss like the long life of an elm tree. A black-capped chickadee, chirping love lore fee-bee…fee-bee…dee-dee…dee-dee, flew over our heads.
Other than my king, Paula captured all my pieces. There was a scope for something even then but I wasn’t ready to end the game in a stalemate. I told Paula, “If we’ve a girl child, I’ll name her Isabella.” She said nothing but smiled. With her smile, I found my king talking to a queen beside him. The chessboard remained unfolded.
The game took a different turn. Paula had to quit the game. I also left Boston and I couldn’t complete my research. This was unexpected for me and many persons. I never told anyone the reason behind my exit. My uncle’s family took it otherwise. Someone told me that they’d only one word for me and it was ‘doodle’.
After Paula’s untimely demise in a bus accident I returned to Florida. After spending a year in loneliness, I met Monica. I’ve spent more than two decades with Monica and we’ve a daughter Isabella who pursues her research on the same topic once Paula had undertaken. Monica loves me but I couldn’t forget Paula. I decided to go to Boston again.
“Paula, my love, I’ve never forgotten you. Not for a moment. But after that accident, I couldn’t stay here. Had I stayed here, your memory would haunt me. Though I’m with Monica, and Isabella is pursuing our dream, I don’t tie a knot in my tie anymore. Even now I feel sometime, I’m talking to you and you’re responding my queries.”
With these words, I put some flowers that Paula once loved and a piece of the chess, the king that had remained with me after the last game between us, on the grave of my queen.
I was returning to my new home at St. Augustine, Florida and thinking that the game was over and I’d never come back here again. The king had gone with the queen. In the meantime, I saw a black-capped chickadee flying over my head and going towards the elm tree. I saw the tree again and felt my Paula speaking from a clump of leaves, “It is love. It looks delicate but its leaves are double serrated and there are interlocks in its wood. It’s very difficult to split it.”
The game is over but I’m sipping the sap of moves seeping out slowly from the interlocks. Fee-bee… fee-bee… dee-dee…dee-dee…
